I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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