All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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