I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
