Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
