I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
