If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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