can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
