I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i think im in europe. pls send help
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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