Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My balls are so social today.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
