all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
