I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
