my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
