I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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