If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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