He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
