Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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