My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
