At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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