so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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