WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You were trust falling into bushes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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