It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
