Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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