We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
