He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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