I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
