i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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