He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I touched a dick in church today
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
