I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
