I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
