oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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