He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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