3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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