And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
