Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
