By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
