Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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