3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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