The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
