Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
