Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
