You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
