So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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