ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
