Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
