the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
