Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
