Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
