Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
