capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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