; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
