Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
